I wanted to share a personal update with my BTG family.
Back in August, my mother, who is 77, moved into a long-term nursing facility because she could no longer care for herself while living alone. It was a difficult change, but she settled in and has been doing fairly well despite her poor health. She was already very thin and frail.
This past Friday, she became ill with the flu and was placed in isolation. Since then, her condition has deteriorated. She has stopped eating and drinking and has become even more frail. Her hospice team has told us they believe she is transitioning toward the end of her life.
A lot has been going on behind the scenes, and it’s been hard to put into words. I am usually a private person, but I felt it was important to let you know what is happening.
Posting may become sporadic as I spend time with my mother and deal with what lies ahead. Working on music for the site comforts me and takes my mind off things for a while. Still, I need to make my family and my own mental health a priority.
Thank you for your understanding, patience, and kindness. I am grateful to have my BTG family here, even when I need to step away for a little while.
Paul
WARNING: MD has written a novella! Proceed with caution… Hello, Paul. I’ve been away from BTG a while and just came in to check what’s going on. Thought maybe I’d jiggle some old doorknobs, use the john, etc. Now I’m reading about your mother having a Hospice team and I’m more than a little floored. I’m stunned to being speechless. Since I’ve always been a much better writer than I am a talker, I’ll continue. First, I’m feeling a bit triggered. Both my parents are long gone and I’ve been “orphaned” for several decades already. My father took longer, because… Read more »
I know what you’re going through, and even though I’m far away, I’m sending you all the strength in the world during these difficult times. God bless you both.
Hello Sir! I feel with you. The same thing happens right now to my mother in law aged 91. We also will see how this will go. I wish you strength and peace. Cheers |cv|
Sorry to hear this Paul. Take all the time you need to visit your Mum and look after yourself. We’ll all be here waiting patiently for your return.
Slightly off track… but what are your Mom’s favorite songs? Could you arrange to share that music with her? I think she’d love that – and she has the loving son who can make it happen! If I had the opportunity, I’d do it. I know I don’t have to tell you of all people the power of music. They’ve proven through monitoring brainwaves that patients that have been non-responsive in a coma DO react to it, their brains light up like a pinball machine (yes, I’m that old, lol). My Mom’s favorites included Patsy Cline classics like “Crazy”, “Walkin’… Read more »
The family is always the priority.
Music can wait.
Best wishes foy you and your mom!
Damn. I spent some time crafting a message of support for you and when I was done and posted it – it marked it as SPAM! Paul, I know this is a difficult and emotionally challenging time for you. I experienced something similar not too long ago when my Dad passed. You will make it through this. One day you may even think this was a blessing in disguise. My Mom went to bingo with her friends, set up her cards and dropped down dead – suddenly and unexpected. Oh how I long to hear her voice one more time,… Read more »
Paul, your family is far important at this time in your life than the BTG family. We are a resilient group and will be fine. Take care of your mom and spend as much time as you can while she’s here, and cherish every minute. I wish you the best at this difficult time. Many of us have been at this junction in life and know how these precious moments will eventually become memories.
Love always, xrey
I spent a lot of time talking to my mother in the last year of her life. We knew it was a matter of time and made the best of it. We lived in different parts of the country, so we talked on the phone a lot. I spent a week out there at one point.
Spend as much time with her as you can. It will be hard, seeing someone at that stage of their life can be devastating, but it will be wonderful.
We’ll all still be hanging out here when you get back.
Paul, I’m sorry you have to endure this road in life. I am in a similar situation with my 83 year old mom who is now transitioning to long term care and we were told only weeks left for her to live. I wish the decisions and processes weren’t so ambiguous and complex for you. Please spend time with your mom and family and DEFINITELY give yourself your own time/space to decompress. Wishing you and your family well and good days ahead.
I send my heartfelt best wishes to you, Ilost my mum last year and it was devastating.
Spend all the time with her,talk and reminisce and ask about all the things you’d like to know.
And record her voice. You may not want to listen for a long time,but it’s lovely to have when you do.
Lots of love and light to you. x
From whom has been through it: do your best and respect your limits. Positive thinking, always.
Hi Paul, I completely understand what You’re going thru, I knew what is like with my Parents. All the best wishes for your mom, You and family. Hope you find real peace of mind dear friend.
Paul, I went thru the same with my Dad and Mom. It was difficult for my family but we knew there time had come. My thoughts are with you and your family. Much Love.
Going through similar with my 85 year old mom. Chemo was becoming less and less effective and she finally said enough. It’s tough. Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers to you, your mom, and your family and friends.
Go! Spend as much time as you need to with your mom. We’ll be here whenever you feel like you have the energy and the head space to return.
In the same situation with my mother, who is 88 with Dementia.
Paul, spend as much time as you can with your Mom and forget about everything else.
The time will come when you can’t. Have no regrets when that time comes.
Sorry you are having to endure this. I have experienced this myself with my father and next will be my mother. I know It’s tremendously hard on you emotionally.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time take care of real life first to take care of your mother sorry for what you and your family are going through right now the reason why we even know each other is because of music I’m going crazy that’s going on in the world music coffee and my pets are my therapy as music is for you as well best wishes to you and your family
As others on here already said, family is more important than anything else, and has to remain top priority. Reminds me so much of when I lost my mother, similar circumstances. Music is a lovely way to switch off your worries, but do it for yourself. No need for any posts at all. You know so many are thinking of you what is happening in your life. Stay by your mom’s side while you still can. She will take comfort too, but you’ll not regret the time caring for her. Hopefully one day someone will do the same for you… Read more »
Paul, my 81-year old mother has been suffering with dementia and it has been hard to see her health decline. Luckily, she is living with my brother about an hour away and I do get to see her on a regular basis.
While I enjoy the music that you post, I understand that family must comes first. Since capturing, editing and posting music is helpful to you, I look forward to your posts, but I also don’t expect daily posts. Post when you can and we are here.
So sorry to hear your news, Paul- sending all best wishes your way
I believe you should dedicate time to your mother and cherish every moment you spend with her; after all, while this site serves as a welcome escape and a hobby that many are passionate about, the true value lies in using your memories as your greatest source of inspiration.
Oh Paul you and Jeremy (hoping I remembered his name right?) are having one of those challenging years. Sending love.
I wish all the strength and love in this difficult period
I add my love and support to those who’ve already posted. It’s always difficult to know what to say to lend support. Some are immobilized by not knowing what to say – or feeling like there’s so little they can say, they often don’t say anything at all.
It’s beautiful to see how much your sharing personal details has allowed your fans and supporters to step up and voice their support during this difficult and transitional time.
I add my voices to theirs in all that you’re working through behind the scenes. Wishing you and yours all the best.
Paul, my friend. I am so sorry to hear that.Everything else can wait, because family comes first. Take the time to be with your mom. I wish you both a lot of strength, and my thoughts are with you. Someone once told me that, one day, our parents become like our children, and we have to look after them.
Paul, please spend all the time you can with your mother! I’ve recently moved to another town just to be closer to my parents, as they are elderly and ailing, and i try my best to take care of them as long as they need it. One never knows what tomorrow brings and this situation with your frail mother is much more important than anything else. When you are up to it, use the site to post something only when you feel like it or if it helps you divert your mind. As i said before, the people who appreciate… Read more »
Sorry to hear about your mom’s health.
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you get to spend more quality time with her, as I’m sure you have been, and may the Lord grant you strength and much love.
So sorry to hear this. I wish you all the strenght.
Hi Paul, I’m sorry to hear this news. I’ve been there and know how difficult it is. My own mother had Alzheimer’s, and I cared for her until things became too challenging and a memory care facility was necessary. It sounds like you’ve been and are a wonderful, caring son. Not having regrets in that regard and knowing you’ve done everything you can will help you through this painful period more than you know. Take care.
Spend all the time you need with your mother and the rest of your family. We’ll still be here.
Paul, so sorry to hear this. Family comes first and we all understand.You and your partner have had to face some big life events, I hope you are able to find moments of joy among the pressure. Easier said than done. I will be thinking of you and your loved ones.
Do the things you need to do the rest will work itself out with time. Take care.
Hope you feel all the love coming at you from around the world. Our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Family comes first. Prayers for your mom, you and your family.
Sorry to hear that, Paul. Good luck and take care.
Tough times Paul. Take care man!
So sorry to hear that. My mom will be 80 in December and this year has also been very very challenging. Early in the year she had her knee replaced and it broke again 2xs. So 3 knee replacements in less than a month! Now cataract surgeries. The whole year has been one blur! Praying for you to have strength to cope and a smile to comfort her during these times!
Hang in there friend. Take all the time you need.
Love and prayers from my family to yours, Paul. We wish you strength, peace and comfort throughout the days ahead.
Querido Pablo, estamos contigo y tu Madre y rezando para que Mejore y si es la voluntad de Dios que ella parta de este mundo, oramos por su alma para que encuentre la paz. Querido amigo, es un “hasta luego” ya se volveran a encontrar en la morada eterna.
Dear Paul, we are with you and your mother, praying for her improvement; and if it is God’s will that she depart from this world, we pray for her soul to find peace. Dear friend, this is just a “so long for now”—you will meet again in the eternal dwelling.
Hi Paul.Sorry to hear the news about Your Mom.Will keep her in my prayer’s.Best wishes to your Mom, You and Family at this difficult time.Go well.
Paul, our hearts go out to you and your family. We are truly sorry for what you’re going through. Please know that we’re all here for you during this difficult time.
Love and light,
Jeff and Karen
Paul, you are not alone! As a person whose parents and inlaws are at that point, I cannot tell you how well I understand what you are facing. Good luck, my friend.
Minha mãe completou 84 anos e está apresentando dores nas mãos devido a problemas na coluna servical e também artrose avançada. Estou cuidado dela aqui em sua casa em outra cidade e divido agora maior parte do meu tempo com minha mãe em detrimento ao tempo com a esposa e filha. Espero melhoras para sua mãe. Um abraço.
My friend, right now what you need to do is be there for your mother. These are difficult times, and family plays a vital role. There will be plenty of time later to continue enjoying the music you share. Sending you my best regards and a hug from afar.
Paul, I hope this difficult phase of life passes quickly, with the blessings of the Great Architect of the Universe. I wish your dear mother a speedy recovery.
I’ve gone through this in the last year and lost my mother at the end of April. My father has dementia and doesn’t remember she has passed. Losing a loved one is never easy, but losing your mother is even harder. Sending you love and hugs and hope it helps that someone knows exactly what you’re going through and is thinking about you. XX